I searched for him, but he needed me. How to Achieve a Deeper Level of Love?

If we are up, we rock together, like rock stars.

Dr. Shon

I searched for him because, maybe, I desired a deeper love. A Love I knew existed, somewhere, somehow. Nowadays with the advancement of social media, television, reality TV, and drama consummation all over the place, love has met its match. But love can win, the strong will survive the test of love. However, there is something bothersome about being in a relationship that lacks consistent growth. It feels like you’re basically suffocating and settling for less than your worth. Have you ever felt like that? If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you’ve settled for less than you’re worth, it can be a daunting dilemma. This type of love forces you to compensate for the lack of natural, equal love. Love can go deeper every day with the right recipe and chefs. But it literally begins with yourself. A deep love starts with self love. In addition, the healthiest love also includes genuine love towards our heavenly creator. 

Take care of yourself, that’s the first way to fall deeper in love. – Dr. Shon

Learn to love and appreciate yourself from the inside out. Fall in love with everything that you are and everything that God created you to be. Do those few things and life will transition so beautifully for you. Loving others first comes at a token of loving yourself, it’s the initial sacrifice. And I know that saying sacrificing love towards others to give it to yourself sounds weird, but it’s true. Especially if you’re a vessel running on an empty tank. Just think about this, after boarding an airplane, who does the pilot recommend to put their mask on first, in the case of an emergency? First, they instruct the parent to place the mask on themselves, then secondly on the child. The thinking is, “How can I help others if I can’t help myself? How can I love others if I can’t save myself?” Tending to your self care needs is the surest method to speed up the love process. Self love is the first way to fall deeper in love. 

The second way to fall deeper in love is to seek a companion with similar interest as you. Of course they may not like everything you like but their interests should be nearly equal or similar to your own. A deep, loving relationship also requires the cooperation of compromisers, but one person shouldn’t compromise more than the next. For example,  maybe you share the same interest in traveling, family values and morals. When it comes to religion, people  tend to cross the line and date within different religions but I won’t get into that here. All of these situations require compromise at some point. Serious issues such as religion, family planning, and mental health problems can make or break a relationship. To fall deeply in love, all of the quirks should be well communicated and understood. As long as you share some similarities, it will be easier to enhance your bond and overall connection. 

Trust is one of the key foundations to building a deeper love. – Dr. Shon

The third way to fall deeper in love is to really take in consideration how much growth there has been in your relationship over time. Are both partners aiming to grow one another mentally? Let’s start there. Mentally, are you challenging one another to love each other better, caressing each other more frequently, and focused on the romance? Are you challenging each other to go back to school or take up a new trade? Are you aiming to give more surprises,  more conversations focused on enhancing the family values, working together on difficult life tasks, and/or showering each other with affection. To grow your love deeper, one must seek to elevate the love story as a couple every single day. Life is too short and if you waste time on unnecessary things your love remains stagnant.

The fourth way to fall deeper in love is to find creative, fun ways to create memories. As a couple, are you creating vivid, lifelong memories for generations to come? Are you cherishing your happiness and growth together as an unit? If you’re not happy, falling deeper in love is nearly impossible. First, find your happiness and never compromise it. It should feel overjoying, waking up next to your soul mate, having the opportunity to watch the sunrise or witness sunset together. Kissing and hugging throughout the day also help create the sense of intimacy and passion. Texting throughout the day, showering each other with affection, love, and attention, are other ways to keep the momentum going. Trust me, there are tons of ways to grow deeper in love. 

To go deeper you must make faith a part of your connection. – Dr. Shon

The fifth way to fall deeper in love is to survive the storm together. No one person should be responsible for making it through the storm alone. If we’re down, we’re gonna be down together baby! If we are up, we rock together, like rock stars. Love is about really being together and having a well balanced life as the days come and go. Nowadays, there seems to be an imbalance between women and men in the relationship. Many women carry heavy loads as mothers, working women, and they do it alone. It’s just totally unfair. I’ve had an experience with this in the past and it nearly ruined me as a woman. Vice versa. To fall deeper in love your companion should be an equal contributor to the whole unit of the family. They shouldn’t be able to sit and do nothing. When you find a soul mate, they should ease your heavy load. They should free up your time to allow more time to focus on other weaker aspects of your relationship. 

Number six. High levels of faith are required to survive the storms that we mentioned earlier. Faith is the essence of love because it gives you a positive outlook on the future of your love life. Love can go deeper if you challenge your brain to defy the norms of the society. To go deeper you must make faith a part of your connection. When tough tests arise, will your relationship stand the test of time? When temptations approach, will you pass them in the opposite direction, or will you fail the test, ultimately hurting your partner? If you fail, it simply means you’re not ready for love; especially if you’re hurting people you claim to love. That means you may not even know how to properly love yourself. You’re not honest with yourself, instead you’re greedy and selfish. That’s not love.  Love begins with faith and honesty within. Develop a relationship with God to pray about your downfalls. When you love God,  naturally and innately there is a desire to treat others respectfully. 

Number seven. Trust: now this is a biggie. Trust is one of the key foundations to building a deeper love. In order to fall deeper in love, a significant amount of trust is required.  There are going to be times when your mind plays tricks on you and make situations look like something they’re not. There are going to be times when you doubt yourself, when you feel like the love is just going to end up wrong. The more trust you have, the stronger the relationship. Period.  Trust is the tool that allows relationships to quickly overcome storms, difficult situations, arguments, and disagreements. Learn tools and resources to help build a solid love foundation. Once you realize there is another person who has your best interest at heart: cherish them, treat them like a queen every day. Treat him like a king every day. Pursue happiness together, that’s what helps us fall deeper in love. 

Romance is essential to a deep love life. The eighth way to grow deeper in love is to show affection. Don’t spend too much time giving your affection to social media, other people, your job, nor the bad parts of your life. Show lots of affection without being a nagger. Don’t hold the past or past relationships at hostage in your new love life. Let that old sh*t go! Excuse my french! Cook for one another, massage one another, and schedule frequent date nights.  I love a sexy, romantic date night with fresh flowers, a picnic by the beach with candlelight. Yessss!!! Always remember why you all fell in love at the very beginning. Make anniversaries and other significant dates in your relationship special. Deep love should fill your heart with a proud, happy, romantic feeling. 

Romance is essential to a deep love life. – Dr. Shon

Number nine. Be honest with yourself the things you will and will not tolerate from a significant other. Many people stay in relationships for the wrong reason. Money, a fancy lifestyle, cars, worried about what other folks “gon say,” stability are among those reasons. Respect, honesty, and compassion should be the priority on the toleration list. Settle down with someone who will be there when you’re old, sick,  and/or when you fall down and need a helping hand? Do they make you feel royal? Know what you’re looking for in a relationship and write it down. Be open minded as well. But don’t be a fool for love. 

The number ten way to fall deeper in love is to have fun! Lots of fun! Love is experiencing new views together, creating timeless memories, discovering new ways to be happier together, building a stronger trust, a stronger faith, a stronger connection and a stronger romantic neuronal connection. Involve romance in your life on a daily basis, not only on Valentine Day. Every day should be Valentine’s Day when you’re deep in love.  

In conclusion. I searched for him because I knew he was a King. Because of the way he communicates with me. Because  of the way he considers my future in my mind. Once we reconnected, I realized that he needed me. He needed my tender loving, kind spirit. He needed my encouragement. He needed my support as a queen. And I needed him to tilt my crown back into the right position. I needed his guidance, his touch, his presence. I needed the masculinity of his leadership. I needed his mind, his brilliance. In order to fall deeper in love, you must embrace the role of king and queen. You must exude royalty at all times. Deep love should make you the happiest. So yeah, he needed me but I damn sure I need him too! To be so deep in love. Now that’s fun!

Kings and Queens, what other ways are there to fall deeper in love? Have you ever had a deep love? Leave me a comment and tell me your experience.

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Dr. Shon 

The Motivational Dentist 

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